I was mourning the wrong loss, and I didn’t even know it.

The nurses took Nicholas away to get treatments for jaundice.  They left us alone in the room, and suggested we get some sleep. It was only hours after we were told about their suspicions of Down syndrome. When we were initially told about it, I remained stone cold, with an “okay, that’s fine” demeanor.  I couldn’t […]

Read More

Introducing: Dad

Alright, I know you all are probably sick of hearing that I believe my husband and I were meant to have Nicholas.  I may have said it once or twice before, but I am going to say it again, and you’re just going to have to deal with it.  I need to introduce you all […]

Read More

The Embarrassing Google Search

I have never been a fan of just “googling” something to get an answer I need.  I know that any old dummy can put any old thing on the internet, kind of like what I am doing right now! But when I had a baby, Google and I became very close. Hey google, how many […]

Read More

The ripple effect.

I did it.  I did the wrong thing.  I limited my own son. I was watching him do physical therapy this week, and the therapist held a toy that looked like it was miles away from him, and expected him to reach for it.  She might as well have asked him to reach up and […]

Read More

The evening black-outs.

That statement used to mean something completely different a couple of years ago. Now, it’s the phrase I use to describe the evenings after I get home from school. I leave school as soon as the busses do and drive immediately to the sitter’s house. Do a little small talk, and leave. We get home […]

Read More